Meeting up is the whole point of this — it's the best thing that happens here. So here's what we'd say to a friend heading out the door. It takes a minute to read, and then it's yours.
A café, a park, a bookshop, a busy corner of campus. Somewhere with other people around and, if you can manage it, in daylight. Not their place and not yours — that can come later, once later means something. Keep the first one short, too: coffee in the middle of a day you have other things in is easy to extend if it's going well and easy to end if it isn't.
A friend, a sibling, a housemate: who you're meeting, where, and roughly when you'll be done. It's a ten-second text and it costs you nothing. Tell them you'll message when you're home, and then do.
If you'd like to see and hear someone before you're sitting across a table from them, say so. Nobody worth meeting will find that strange, and anyone who makes a fuss about it has told you something useful for free. We don't host calls ourselves — use whatever app the two of you already have — and there's no rush to leave the messages here at all.
Your own car, your own ride, your own bus fare. Being able to leave the moment you'd like to leave — without needing anything from the person you're with — is the whole reason this one matters. And don't be picked up from home for a first meeting, however kindly it's offered.
Your number, your address, where you work, your last name, your socials: all yours to give when you want to and not a moment before. Messages here work perfectly well, and "I'd rather keep chatting on here for now" is a complete answer that needs nothing after it. Anyone who keeps pushing after you've said that has answered a question you hadn't got round to asking.
If something feels off, you don't need a reason, a diagnosis, or a polite exit. "I'm going to head off" is a complete sentence. You will never owe anyone a longer conversation than you want to have, and nobody here will think less of you for cutting one short. Discomfort you can't explain is still information.
We don't do background checks. Not on anyone, ever — not on them and not on you. What we know is what everyone here gave us: a survey about how they see the world, a real first name in good faith, and a profile they wrote themselves. That's it, and you should assume it's it.
A match means the way the two of you perceive things overlaps in a way that tends to make people click. That is an introduction, not an endorsement. It is not a character reference, not a vouch, and not a statement that someone is safe to be alone with. We can tell you that you'll probably have a good conversation. We can't tell you who someone is.
So bring exactly the judgment you'd bring to meeting a friend of a friend for the first time — which is what this is.
Block and Report sit together at the bottom of a person's page — the one that opens when you tap their card on your network — and both are in the header of your conversation with them, beside Mute.
Blocking is instant and silent. They aren't told, they see no error, and everything between the two of you disappears from both sides at once. The matching never puts you back together. You never have to explain it to them or to us, and if you change your mind you can undo it from your Account page.
Reporting goes to Matt, who reads them himself. Write as much or as little as you like, and the other person is never told that you reported them — not then, not later. If it's about someone neither button can reach, email support@resonance.info and a person will read that too.
If you're in immediate danger, call your local emergency number first — we are not an emergency service and we can't reach you fast enough to help. In the US, if you're in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, you can call or text 988 any time.
Almost all of these are lovely. Two people who see the world the same way, an hour, a coffee — mostly it goes exactly as well as you'd hope. The list above isn't a warning about the people here; it's the small amount of care that lets you say yes to more of them. How matches work →